


Woolworth Pearls

by JellicleFicsForJellicleCats



Category: Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats - T. S. Eliot
Genre: Anthropomorphic Cats (Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber), F/M, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 15,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27924205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JellicleFicsForJellicleCats/pseuds/JellicleFicsForJellicleCats
Summary: Jellicle Cats meet once a year at the Jellicle Ball! But what will happen during the magical night? The looming threat of Macavity, a play gone wrong (thanks Jerrie), and a romance in the making, all underneath the Jellicle Moon in one night!This is an Alonzoteazer fic!
Relationships: Alonzo/Rumpleteazer (Cats), Demeter/Munkustrap (Cats), Jennyanydots/Skimbleshanks (Cats), Mr. Mistoffelees/Rum Tum Tugger (Cats)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 0- Overature/Beginning Message from the Author

**Author's Note:**

> 'Chapter' 0- Overature. A welcome note from the author. Also I have no idea how to change the tick mark thingie but this is in-progress-

Welcome to a fanfiction of one of the most obscure ships in one of the most obscure fandoms to exist. Here's a beginning note from yours truly!

1\. if you somehow haven't figured it out, this is shipfic of Alonzo and Rumpleteazer from the musical Cats. 

2\. This is 1998-based, with probably a few things stolen from 2016. We don't talk about the movie here. 

3\. We also don't talk about rap tugger. 

4\. This fanfiction will follow the plot of Cats from mostly Rumpleteazer's perspective, with plot alterations for the s h i p. There may be a few POV changes, and some third-person as well, but we'll mostly be following Teazer. 

5\. If you don't like the ship, please don't get angry, just don't read this- 

6\. Other implied/stated ships will be:   
• Jennyshanks  
• Tuggoffoles   
• Demestrap   
7\. :3 hope you enjoy!


	2. Chapter 1- Jellicle Songs For Jellicle Cats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention that this is my first Cats work, and my first Ao3 work! I really hope you enjoy!

The junkyard was silent. But if you knew things, as cats do, then you would be able to sense the presence of other cats. Surely a dozen, more likely a score. The moon was rising. It was the night of the Jellicle Ball, where Jellicle Cats meet once a year, to dance and sing together underneath the Jellicle Moon. For one to be chosen to go to the heaviside layer.

Finally, the ringleader of the cats appeared, crawling across the back of the old car, and down into the center of the clearing. Munkustrap stood tall and firm, arms spread wide to beckon all other Jellicles to him. And the music started playing. It didn't come from anywhere. It just was. But only on the night of the Jellicle Ball.

Cassandra was next. She was always the first after Munk. She'd never held any fear of the gathering, any nervousness, nothing, just the excitement. 

Another protector emerged, hoping to show the younger cats that they had no reason to be afraid. Skimbleshanks crouched on the tire.

Skimble's prompting succeeded, and Pouncival leapt onto a chair. Which was in a rather precarious position on top of a pile of trash, but hey, that was how he rolled. 

Next was Tantomile and Coricopat. The strangest twins of the bunch, even exceeding Cassandra's aura of mystery. They crouched together in the middle, in front of Munkustrap, moving in eerily perfect synch. 

Electra, one of the younger kittens, worked up the courage to leap from where she was hidden, sitting on the far, far right of the clearing. 

Cursed Maneless Tugger was next. Let's not speak of him. 

Demeter was the last of the initial bunch to show herself. Scampering out of the pipe. She didn't stand, though. Demeter was always on her guard, and it seemed she felt safer near the ground. for now, at least. 

Munkustrap looked towards the sky, his stance the same as it had been for the past few minutes. He took a breath, then let out the first notes of the night. 

"Are you blind when you're born?"

Demeter knew to follow suit. This wasn't scripted, rehearsed, choreographed. It was instinctual on this night to feel the words, the steps, the melody, all of it. It would all come to you. 

"Can you see in the dark?" 

Skimbleshanks raised his head. "Dare you look at a king?" 

"Would you sit on his throne?" Asparagus had popped up behind Skimble. 

"Can you say of your bite.. that it's worse than your bark?" Tugger's saucy, rockstar voice, albeit held back for now, rang across the clearing for the first time tonight. 

Alonzo hopped onto the back of the car, on top of the trunk's lid. He stood tall and proud like Munkustrap, surveying the area. "Are you cock of the walk,"

An unknown voice rang through the clearing. "When you're walking alone?"

All the cats in the clearing stood up. Even Demeter. Their voices meshed together for the first time tonight, quiet and smooth. 

"Because Jellicles can and Jellicles do,  
Jellicles do and Jellicles can,  
Jellicles can and Jellicles do,  
Jellicles do and Jellicles can,  
Jellicles can and Jellicles do."

A middle-aged cat appeared, the strict aunt figure of the group, but Jellylorum was still very much loved. "When you fall on your head, do you land on your feet?"

Tantomile and Coricopat now. They swayed entrancingly as Coricopat sang. "Are you tense when you sense.. there's a storm in the air?" 

The youngest kitten felt a pull at her subconscious, and soon enough, there she was, right in the middle and singing her own line. "Can you find your way blind when you're lost in the street?"

"Do you know how to go to the heaviside layer?" 

"Because Jellicles can and Jellicles do,  
Jellicles do and Jellicles can,  
Jellicles can and Jellicles do,  
Jellicles do and Jellicles can,  
Jellicles can and Jellicles do."

"Can you ride on a broomstick to places far distant?" 

"Familiar with candle,"

Electra jumped in. Her very first ball, her first time singing. The excitement showed in her voice. "With book, and with bell?" 

Bombalurina appeared, flourishing her paw as she leapt into the clearing effortlessly. "Were you Whittington's friend?"

Mister Mistoffoles hopped out from the left. "The Pied Piper's assistant?" 

"Have you been an alumnus of heaven and hell?" Flipping and rolling was how Tumblebrutus always made his entrance. 

Speaking of entrances, here comes our primary character. And her best friend. They're both little shits. Grins on both of their faces, they ran straight out from the right side. 

"Are you mean like a minx?" From Mungojerrie, the trademark smirk on his face. He stood, one arm out slightly behind him, the other slightly forward. 

"Are you lean like a lynx?" Rumpleteazer sang, her grin matching the tom in front of her's as she ran to stand next to him. She ran her paw down his arm. But more about her later.

This was Etcetera's first ball too. But all the same, she sang confidently, encouraged by the other cats. "Are you keen to be seen when you're smelling a rat?" 

"Were you there when the pharaohs commissioned the sphinx?" Cassandra raised her arms towards the moon. 

Then the voices joined together again. "If you were and you are, you're a Jellicle Cat." They chanted, succeeded by their chorus of

"Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats!  
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats,   
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats,  
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats,  
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats!" 

"We can fly through the air like a flying trapeze!" The cats boasted to nobody in particular, singing of all they could do. 

"We can turn double somersaults, bounce on a tire,   
We can climb up a wall, we can swing through the trees,   
We can balance on bars, we can walk on a wire!

"Jellicles can and jellicles do,  
Jellicles can and jellicles do,  
Jellicles can and jellicles do,  
Jellicles can and jellicles do!  
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats,  
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats,  
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats,  
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats!" 

The queens sang together, voices clashing in beautiful dissonance. "Can you sing at the same time in more than one key? Duets by Rossini,"

"And waltzes by Strauss?" The toms cut in, each taking a queen and spinning her, until everyone bolted to stand together around the tire. They stood in formation, organized into the neat rows of a choir. "And, can you as cats do, begin witha C?" 

Jennyanydots's impressive note rang through the clearing. 

"That always triumphantly brings down the house?" 

Everyone lost themselves in the fun of it a little here, and it ended up in a rather screechy mess of "Jellicle cats are queens of the night! Singing at astronomical heights! Handling pieces from the messiah! Hallelujah, angelical choir!" 

The last off-key note was cut off by a loud thud. Someone unknown had chucked a boot into the center. They shrugged. 

"Jellicle cats are queens of the night! Singing at astronomical heights! Handling pieces from the messiah! Hallelujah, angelical choir!" 

Thankfully for everybody's ears, there was a rather large change in the music from the sharp mess that just occurred, and the cats folded their paws in front of them, and began to sing like an actual choir. 

"The mystical divinity of unashamed felinity,  
'Round the cathedral rang 'viviat!'  
Life to the everlasting cat!  
Feline. Fearless, faithful and true. To others who do."

Mungojerrie raised a brow, confused as always. "What?" 

He was promptly shoved by Teazer before the cats ran from their dignified positions to dance together once more. Still singing,

"Jellicles do and jellicles can  
Jellicles can and jellicles do  
Jellicle cats sing jellicle chants  
Jellicles old and jellicles new  
Jellicle song and jellicle dance!  
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats  
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats  
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats  
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats!" 

They broke off into smaller groups, moving forward then back to the center, about six or so at a time as they sang

"Practical cats, dramatical cats  
Pragmatical cats, fanatical cats  
Oratorical cats, Delphicoracle cats  
Skeptical cats, Dispeptical cats!" 

They quieted slightly, elegant underneath the Jellicle Moon. 

"Romantical cats, Pedantical cats  
Critical cats, parasitical cats." 

They began to crescendo, moving as one large group again.

"Allegorical cats, metaphorical cats  
Statistical cats and mystical cats, political cats!  
Hypocritical cats,  
Clerical cats, hysterical cats  
Cynical cats, rabbinical cats!" 

They spaced out, ready to dance in synch and finish their big number. The Jellicles moved at the same time, their hips and shoulders, arms and legs all moving together. 

"Jellicle songs for jellicle cats  
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats  
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats  
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats  
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats!"


	3. Chapter 1.5- Invitation to The Jellicle Ball

Victoria had danced by herself during the short break, while the other cats had slunk off into the darkness to catch their breath and watch her. Jellicles always performed a solo the first time they went to a Jellicle ball as a matured cat. She was preparing herself for her first ball as an adult, her first time dancing in the more complicated way the older cats did. Her first night of true self-discovery. And her first possible lover. She was a bit shaky, but it was mosty from excitment. 

\--

Rumpleteazer had been watching from the side for a little bit. The white cat's dance had made her start thinking. This was only Teazer's second ball as an adult, so she wasn't much better off than Victoria in the knowledge department. And she definitely wasn't much better off in the romance department. Some cats went with another officially, and some found a partner for the night along the way. Not wanting to look like a loner, Teazer and Jerrie had gone together as friends last year, and were doing the same again this year. 

That made her think back to last year. Her and Mungojerrie's first year as adults. In their typical fashion, they had barely practiced at all. This resulted in Mungojerrie somehow accidentally tossing Rumpleteazer in a random direction, where she'd flown straight into Alonzo, which knocked them both to the ground. Lucky for Teazer, Alonzo had actually seemed more annoyed with Jerrie than her. 

Rumpleteazer was snapped back out of her own head after Victoria finished her dance, and the music abruptly changed. Mister Mistoffoles was standing over Victoria, striking a dramatic pose as usual, before helping her up and beginning to sing. 

"Jellicle Cats come out tonight!   
Jellicle Cats come one, come all!   
The Jellicle Moon is shining bright!  
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball!  
Jellicle Cats come out tonight, Jellicles come to the Jellicle ball..." 

The cats all gathered around Mistoffoles, and Munkustrap soon took over his position in the center. He cleared his throat.

"Jellicle cats meet once a year  
At the Jellicle ball where we all rejoice!  
And the Jellicle leader will soon appear  
And make what is known as the Jellicle choice." 

The cats all crouched, looking up at their ringleader as he told them about the ball. Most of them already knew, of course, save for the younger kittens, but having Munkustrap adress them all was tradition. 

"When Old Deuteronomy just before dawn  
Through a silence you feel you could cut with a knife  
Announces the cat who can now be reborn  
And come back to different Jellicle life."

Munkustrap explained, and Rumpleteazer watched as the younger kittens' eyes filled with wonder. 

"For waiting up there is the Heaviside layer  
Full of wonders one Jellicle only will see  
And Jellicles ask, because Jellicles dare,  
Who will it be?"

And all the Jellicles echoed him. "Who will it be?"


	4. Chapter 2- The Old Gumbie Cat

The sound of trumpets filled the air, and Munkustrap was ready to formally introduce the mother figure of the Jellicles. Of course everybody already knew Jennyanydots, but it wouldn't be the same without Jenny's number. It was bouncy, fun, and full of excitement, just like her. 

Rumpleteazer thought that she should at least have a line in the song this year, considering Jenny was ACTUALLY her mom, but she could already tell it was going to be Demeter, Bomba, and Jellylorum again. Teazer wasn't too salty, though. She knew Jenny was just as much a mother to any of the other Jellicles as she was to her biological daughter. 

Rumpleteazer sat on the left side of the clearing next to her best friend, ready to watch the celebration of her mom. She really did love her, and Teazer knew she deserved every second of it. 

Munkustrap took his normal spot in the center, cleared his throat, and began to sing, his voice powerful, but still sweet. 

"I... have a gumbie cat in mind,  
Her name is Jennyanydots.   
Her coat is of the tabby kind,  
With tiger stripes, and leopard spots."

Munkustrap gestured vaguely as he usually did when he sang, but it wasn't anything short of graceful, as he always was. .

"All day she sits beneath the stairs,   
or on the steps, or on the mat.   
She sits, and sits, and sits and sits...  
And that's what makes a gumbie cat." 

The trunk of the broken car had opened, seemingly by magic. Which it probably was, since Misto had mimed opening it. Jennyanydots rolled out, yawning, but still smiling brightly at everybody. 

"That's what makes a gumbie cat..!" Munkustrap sang, giving Jenny a small bow. 

"Buuuut-!" 

There was the sound of the gumbie trio, the three who had sung Jenny's number with Munkustrap for years, three who were extremely close to her. Demeter, Bombalurina, Jellylorum. Rumpleteazer liked all three of them, they were pretty close to her too. 

"When the day's hustle and bustle is done,   
then the gumbie cat's work is but hardly begun!  
When all the family's in bed and asleep,  
She tucks up her skirts, to the basement she creeps!   
She is deeply concerned with the ways of the mice--"

"Their behavior's not good and their manner's not nice!" Jenny insisted with a huff. Teazer held back a laugh at how determined her mother was to prove her case. 

"But when she got them lined up on the matting, she teaches them-"

"Music, crocheting, and tatting!" Jenny sang proudly, a wide smile still on her face. Remarkably, Jenny had actually been getting somewhere with said mice. Just goes to show the power of a stern mom-voice. 

Munkustrap approached Jenny again, resting a hand on her shoulder, and looking at her lovingly. Munk's only known parent, Old Deuteronomy, was only here once a year, so Jenny had practically raised him. And Tugger, too, though he had been much more independent. 

"I.. have a gumbie cat in mind,  
Her name is Jennyanydots.   
The curtain cord she likes to wind, and  
Tie it into sailor knots."

Rumpleteazer kept watching, lying sprawled across Mungojerrie for no reason. She'd always admired Munkustrap, though she also thought screwing with him was fun as shit. Because let's be honest. It is. 

"She sits upon the windowsill, or anything that's smooth and flat,   
She sits, and sits, and sits and sits...  
And that's what makes a gumbie cat.  
That's what makes a gumbie cat...!" 

The trio stood up again, ready to dance together and sing Jenny's backup. Rumpleteazer smiled as she watched. 

"Buuuut-!" 

First there was Demeter. She was with Munkustrap, and Munkustrap was like an older brother, thereby making Demeter like a sister to her by extension. Rumpleteazer had gone to Demeter many times when she needed advice, and she was always there for the younger queen.

"When the day's hustle and bustle is done," 

Then there was Jellylorum. One of her mom's closest friends, and like a slightly stern but kind aunt to Teazer. She was good for no-nonsense talk, and she wouldn't sugarcoat anything. Jellylorum was an honest, practical cat. And Teazer admired her for that. 

"Then the gumbie cat's work is but hardly begun!" 

Bombalurina was another cat Rumpleteazer looked up to. Bomba was so confident, and danced so well, and Teazer wanted to be like that. Plus, she could probably stand to up her 'appeal' to potential lovers, something she wasn't exactly great at. Ever since her first ball, Teazer had been amazed at how the red queen moved so fluidly, how the toms practically fell over themselves for her, how natural she seemed to feel in the limelight. 

"She thinks that the cockroaches-"  
"Just need employment!!"   
"To prevent them from-"  
"Idle and wanton destroyment!" 

Rumpleteazer elbowed Mungojerrie, snickering softly at how Jenny kept interrupting. As she always did. 

"So she's formed from that lot of disorderly louts  
A troop of self-disciplined, helpful boy scouts!"

"With a purpose in life and a good deed to do!" 

"And she's even! Created! A beetles'! Tattoo!" 

The sound of brass instruments filled the air once again as Jenny took to the center, her coat suddenly gleaming as she danced and tapped her feet. The Jellicles echoed her, Rumpleteazer and Mungojerrie included, standing and copying the playful movements. Jerrie spun Teazer, and she laughed, following exactly what instinct said she should. 

Munkustrap, Bomba, Demeter, and Jellylorum were up front with Jenny, dancing in perfect, bouncy harmony with her. Rumpleteazer watched them for a second. She was unable to contain her grin at seeing how much fun her mother was having. The dancing continued for a few minutes, a joyful whirlwind of laughter and togetherness, before an alarm clock suddenly rang from near the boot of the car. 

"For she's a jolly good fellow!" The Jellicles sang together. They saluted to Jenny, who just humbly waved her paw, mouthing an 'oh, please,' though it was clear how much she appreciated it. 

Four more notes in quick succession, not a frown in the junkyard, and then Jenny held her arms out. 

"Thank you, my dears!"


	5. Chapter 3- The Rum Tum Tugger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My oc Dea Ex Machina (Dea, pronounced DAY-uh for short) makes a very brief cameo in this chapter! Hope you don't mind :3

The music was calm and sweet as Jenny smiled and hugged the other cats, Rumpleteazer included. When Teazer's arms wrapped around her mom, the strength was returned. Sure, Jenny might be in her middle ages, but that didn't stop her from suffocating you with love. 

Suddenly there was a complete and total shift in the music. The tempo, the instruments, all of it. dO DO DOO DO DO DODODODO DO DO- 

And he appeared from the left of the junkyard. walking out from behind a pile of trash with a "meow," The Rum Tum Tugger made his entrance. 

He almost always had a number on the night of the ball, but it was unusual for it to be this early in the unkown roster of the night. Rumpleteazer guessed that he might've only wanted to arrive fashionably late this time, instead of just actually late. 

Tugger was basically the coolest cat in the junkyard. The queens (and sometimes the toms) constantly tried to get his attention, including Rumpleteazer a lot of the time. She couldn't help but be sort of attracted to him, though she knew it wouldn't go anywhere. Still, though. Damn, he was hot. 

"The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat!" Sang the Jellicles. He really was. Both in the sense that he was strange, and that he was actually curious whenever he didn't know something. 

"If you offer me pheasant, I'd rather have grouse." He purred, stepping down from the tire and into the clearing. His voice and manner was that of a rockstar, as confident and cocky as any cat ever could be. He was practically a celebrity. And he knew it. 

He started to dance, moving to his right across the clearing. "If you put me in a house, I would much prefer a flat." Then back again, snapping as Etcetera followed with an awestruck face. 

"If you set me on a mouse, then I.. only want a rat! If you set me on a rat, then I'd rather chase a mouse!" Somebody threw a stray ball, and he spun around just in time to kick it straight at Misto, who just rolled his eyes.

The Jellicles all gathered around Tugger, singing "The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat!" Again as he swung his hips, arms up in the air. 

"And there isn't any need for me to shout it."

"For he will do as he dooo do!" Rumpleteazer sang with them, dancing too. She couldn't help but fangirl a little. His unwavering confidence was such an attractive trait to possess. 

"And there's no doin' anything abow-awout it!" Tugger grinned, dancing around a little more during a piano solo, clearly enjoying the attention. 

Misto had come up to stand next to Tugger. "The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore." He sang, aloof as always. Teazer knew he was flirting, though. Tugger always wanted what he couldn't have, so Misto was playing hard-to-get. She thought they were pretty cute together. 

"Oh, when ya lemme in then I wanna go out." Tugger smirked, winking straight at Dea, one of the kittens, who literally fell over at that. 

"I'm always on the wrong side of every door. As soon as I get home, then I like to get abou-out. I like to lie, in a bureau drawer. But I make such a fuss when I can't get out!" 

Three notes in quick succession provided a chance for Rumpleteazer to do three different poses with Mungojerrie, grinning as they danced together. 

"The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat!" 

"And there isn't any use for you to doubt it." There definitely wasn't. It took about zero-point-three seconds to discover how much of a drama queen he was. There really never was a cat of such confidence and swaggity. 

"For he will do as he do do!" 

"And there's no doin' anythin' abow-awow-awoaawout it!" 

Rumpleteazer saw her chance and ran towards the middle of the clearing, but Bombalurina quickly grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back, taking Teazer's place as she sang "The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast!" 

Rumpleteazer huffed and moved back over to Mungojerrie, who was snickering. She promptly smacked him and went back to singing backup for Tugger. 

"My disobliging ways are a matter of.. habit." Tugger made air quotes around 'disobliging ways,' shooting a smirk at Munkustrap. Munk just rolled his eyes. 

Bombalurina started moving closer to Tugger, swinging her tail and dancing up on him as he sang "If you offer me fish, then I always wanna feast, and if there is isn't any fish then I won't eat rabbit!" 

Bomba moved to the other side of him, still constantly flaunting everything about her. Rumpleteazer had a moment of bisexual panic. 

"If you offer me cream, then I, sniff and sneer!" There was a beat, on which Bomba did a high kick, ending in Tugger's arms, him dipping her. She seemed pleased. 

He ran a hand up her chin and cheek. "For I only like.. what I find.. for myself." Tugger paused, as if studying Bomba, then simply said "No." He dropped her. She landed on the floor with an expression that could probably kill somebody if it was directed at them. 

She didn't appear give up, though, because she went right back next to him as all the Jellicles sang "The Rum Tum Tugger is artful and knowing!" 

On 'artful and knowing,' Tugger swung his hips into Bombalurina's side, knocking her out of his spotlight. Teazer was thousand percent did not want to share, if she knew anything about him, and definitely not with a queen he just straight up dropped on the floor.

"The Rum Tum Tugger-" 

Tugger interrupted his ensemble, singing "doesn't care for a cuddle." He smirked at nobody in particular. "But I'll leap up on your lap in the middle'a your sewin' 'cause there's nothin' I enjoy like a horrible muddle!" 

There was a short break for dancing, which he used to make the kittens practically faint, annoy Jenny and Jelly, and interrupt Demeter while she appeared to be having a war flashback. 

"The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat!" Everyone practically shouted at this point, hyped up and high on the excitement of the number. His voice was rough and somehow smooth at the same time, made for partying and having a good time. 

"And there isn't any call for me to spout it!" 

"For he will do as he do dooooo..." 

Tugger stood in the center of the clearing again, and Victoria, Electra, Jemima, Etcetera, and Dea all crowded around him, looking up eagerly. They were his biggest fans. Rumpleteazer was half-tempted to join them, but wanted to show that she wasn't a kitten anymore. 

"And there's no.. doin' anythin'..." Tugger paused, looking down at the kittens. "Abouuuuuuut~" 

The kittens mewed and caterwauled, playing with their paws as they watched him. 

"Aboow-awowawowawow~"   
He sang, swinging hips around as the kittens kept fangirling. They were wide-eyed, mewing and giggling again.

"Aboow-wow-wowowowow-oooo!" Tugger swung his hips in circles again, his little fanclub moving their heads. They cheered, still meowing and giggling. Except for Etcetera, who would not stop cheering. Eventually Tugger just put his hand over her mouth. 

"About it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this, or didn't, leave a comment and tell me what you thought! I tried to do my favorite number justice!


	6. Chapter 3.5- From Alonzo's Perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! There are a few things that I've been thinking about doing, and I wanted to let you know :3 
> 
> First of all, Teazer's significance in the storyline is going to be increased. As it is, Teazer's not a principle character very often, and considering this story's centered around her, that's going to change. Hope you don't mind! 
> 
> Second, if you're liking this so far, would anybody enjoy a oneshot book? I'd definitely take requests for ships and probably do reader inserts. Let me know in the comments if you would. Thanks friends!

The music changed all of a sudden from the gentle ending of Jenny's song. Oh no. 

The Rum Tum Tugger appeared, and Alonzo rolled his eyes. He liked Tugger and all, but sometimes his showboating was insufferable, and he could already tell this year wasn't going to be any different than the last. In terms of Tugger's number, at least. 

Alonzo sang backup along with everybody else, but he really didn't get why all the queens fawned over him so much. Okay fine, he did get it, he just didn't like it. 

The black-and-white tom stayed mostly on the car boot during the number, surveying Tugger's fan club. Something inside of him seemed to twitch in annoyance when he saw Rumpleteazer head for Tugger. It wasn't because he liked her or anything, he actually found her quite annoying. Yes. Definitely just a bother. He was only annoyed because if Teazer got with Tugger then they would get three times as annoying as they were on their own. 

Lucky for Alonzo, Bombalurina grabbed Rumpleteazer and pulled her out of the spotlight before she could sing. Not so lucky for Alonzo, that meant Rumpleteazer went back to dance with Mungojerrie. Another annoyance. An annoyance that Rumpleteazer would more likely get with than she would with Tugger. 

It's not like he cared or anything, he was just observing. Still.. Alonzo's ear flicked involuntarily every time Mungojerrie spun his partner in crime. 

He kept watching from on top of the car boot, just humming along where he was needed, and thinking.

Alonzo didn't exactly dislike Tugger. He liked him quite well sometimes. Emphasis on sometimes. A lot of the time Tugger drove Munk and him crazy. Sometimes even more than the calico criminals did. A thought suddenly came to Alonzo. 

Was he.. jealous of Tugger? For somebody he found so insufferable sometimes, Tugger possessed a lot of desirable traits. Like Tugger, Alonzo was also a bit of a flirt. But unlike Tugger, Alonzo wasn't exactly the best at it. He wanted to be as confident as the rockstar cat. As smooth and cool.

But alas, Alonzo actually had a job to do. He was Munkustrap's second-in-command, a protector and an important part in the operation of the junkyard. Responsibilities he didn't take lightly. He liked his job, enjoyed the work a lot, actually, but sometimes he wished he could loosen up. 

Alonzo had a flashback to a few days ago. He'd been on guard duty, sitting on the tire and watching the junkyard, when Teazer had started pawing at his ears. Alonzo had rolled his eyes and shoved her away so he could get back to work. She'd responded with a huff and "you're no fun!" Then, she'd attempted to prompt him a few more times, but eventually got bored and gave up. Alonzo suddenly felt a bit guilty.. wait, why was he thinking about this again? 

The protector shook his head to clear the thoughts from his mind, but he still couldn't look away from Rumpleteazer for a few seconds. His intuition must be sensing that she was about to be a mild nuisance, that was all. That must be all. 

Alonzo jumped when the last two notes of Tugger's number struck, knocking him back to reality yet again. He fell off the boot of the car in surprise. After the mild pain of hitting the ground, the next thing he registered was giggling. Oh shit. He felt his cheeks get warm as he looked up in front of him.


	7. Chapter 4- Grizabella: The Glamor Cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update! I really hope you're all enjoying this as much as I'm enjoying writing it. I can't believe that I already have a comment, 4 kudos, and 45 whole hits! Thank you all so much ♡♡

The final notes of Tugger's song blared, and then... something wonderful happened. Something spectacular.

Alonzo got startled by the sudden loud sounds and fell on his face. Off of the car boot, and straight on his face. Rumpleteazer could tell he was fine, though, so legally that meant she was allowed to laugh. 

Rumpleteazer couldn't help but burst into giggles at seeing the stoic, serious protector look so undignified for a moment. She elbowed Jerrie, pointing to the scene, and he started snickering too. Rumpleteazer eventually got enough control over her laughing to go over and help him up. 

The calico queen held out her paw for Alonzo, and he looked up from where his face was planted on the ground. She bit her lip to stifle another giggle, but it wasn't entirely effective, causing Alonzo to look away in embarrassment. 

"Eyy, don't be lookin' so embarrassed, Lonzie! 'S a celebration, we ain't got time to focus on ya fallin' on yer face, as funny as it is-" Rumpleteazer giggled. 

Alonzo huffed and took her paw, allowing her to help him up. He stood, about a head taller than her, and rolled his eyes. "Remember who you're talking to when you're being sassy. I'm Munkustrap's second in command." Alonzo warned lightly, but a smile had found its way onto his lips. 

Rumpleteazer was about to shoot a snarky commemt back at him when the music changed again, and changed drastically. Gone was Tugger's rock'n'roll, and in its place was something much more serious. And almost threatening, in a way. Everyone stopped and looked for the source, the reason that the party was over. Tugger was the first to spot her. 

Across the clearing stood Grizabella. A shabby, gray cat with a torn coat and a bad history. She'd been outcasted when Rumpleteazer was a kitten, but Teazer remembered her well. Grizabella. The glamor cat. So caught up in her own beauty and fame that she forgot to be kind. Forgot to be there for her daughter, Demeter. Forgot not to yell at a couple of calico kittens for getting in her way while they played, causing her to accidentally step on them. 

And she'd paid the price over these last few years. Grizabella had seen better days, that was for sure. Rumpleteazer almost felt bad for her. Almost. But not bad enough to wash out the memory of young, beautiful Grizabella stepping on Mungojerrie's tail and then yelling at him about it. 

Teazer saw Demeter approach Grizabella, but she was quickly pulled away by Munkustrap and Bombalurina. Munkustrap stared Grizabella down. She wasn't welcome here, and she knew it. They were just looking at each other, a silent challenge, until she started to sing. 

"Remark.. the cat.. Who hesitates towards you..." 

Rumpleteazer almost rolled her eyes. The anger inside of her had seemingly reignited, and there was no anger like that of Teazer protecting Jerrie, or vice versa. It wasn't rage. It wasn't fumes. It was a quiet anger. A promise to get back at the wrongdoer. 

"In the light of the door.. which opens on her like a grin." Grizabella sang, not having moved an inch towards or away from Munkustrap. 

"You see the border of her coat is torn, and stained with sand.." 

Rumpleteazer just watched. It was certain that she didn't approve of Grizabella's presence. Her best friend appeared beside her, and she felt his comforting arm around her shoulders. Rumpleteazer relaxed a little bit, now that Mungojerrie was next to her again. She got a little nervous when he wasn't in times of potential danger. 

"And you see the corner of her eye twist, like a crooked pin.." 

As soon as Jerrie appeared, Teazer noticed, almost like she'd felt it, a small shift in Alonzo's mood. She hadn't even been looking at him. The black and white tom moved around to stand a little in front of her, braced for action. Just in case, she presumed. 

Demeter managed to bring herself forwards, still several paces behind Grizabella, but out of the crowd. The glamor cat's daughter took a breath before she started to sing. 

"She haunted many a low resort,  
Near the grimy road of Tottenham Court..." 

Teazer knew that it had been hard for Demeter when Grizabella was outcasted. But her mother hadn't been good for her, and Demeter had known that. There must have still been just a sliver of hope in her. 

"She flitted about the no-man's-land,  
From The Rising Sun, to The Friend at Hand.." 

Demeter's voice rang through the junkyard. It was powerful and emotional, the tiniest bit of a shake to it right now. The words came both sharp and smooth as Demeter sang. 

"And the postman sighed as he scratched his head.." 

Rumpleteazer opened her mouth when Demeter began to shake a little more. In contrast to Demeter's, Teazer's voice was harsh, but still filled with emotion. The calico sang, the smallest drop of malice in her voice. 

"You really had thought she ought to be dead." 

Mungojerrie tightened his grip on Teazer, gently rubbing her shoulder, as if to say 'it's okay, I'm here.' She relaxed some as Demeter was ready to take the song back. 

"And who would ever suppose that  
That... was Grizabella, The Glamor Cat..."

Bombalurina moved next to Demeter, putting her arm around her friend protectively. 

"Grizabella, The Glamor Cat." Bomba sang, glaring at the back of Grizabella's head. 

Demeter joined Bombalurina again, and together they kept singing. 

"Grizabella, The Glamor Cat."

The rest of the Jellicles joined the song, gathering around behind the shabby cat. Their voices had a haunting-like quality to them. The younger kittens didn't seem to fully understand, but they'd picked up on the gist of the situation, so they were fully present in the singing.

"And who would ever have thought that that..." 

Grizabella kept her head held high as she made her exit, sweeping off to the right and dissapearing behind a pile of trash. Teazer felt her muscles relax. 

"Was Grizabella, The Glamor Cat."


	8. Chapter 5- Bustopher Jones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I skip over a lot of lyrics in this chapter for a few reasons. One, Rumpleteazer isn't really paying attention to what's happening. Two, it would be hard to chunk up the hugeass block of just Bustopher singing into interesting ways, considering they're all just listening to him. Three, I wanted to focus on our main characters a lot in this chapter. Four, I'm just gonna say it. Nobody actually cares about this one all that much. Apologies, Bustopher.

The second Grizabella left the junkyard, it was as if a weight was lifted from everybody's shoulders. The music changed abruptly to something bouncy and fun, as if even the universe was sighing in relief. 

Rumpleteazer smiled again, nuzzled Mungojerrie quickly, then started to gather with the rest of the Jellicles. Jerrie and Alonzo weren't far behind, standing on either side of her. Unfortunately for Teazer, she was a short bitch, so she couldn't see over Pouncival and Tumblebrutus's heads. She stood on her toes, but to no avail. 

Rumpleteazer felt a couple of paws wrap around her waist. She started, but relaxed a moment after when she realized that it was Alonzo who was lifting her up. He set her on his right shoulder. Teazer smiled, able to see from her new positioning, but also because this meant that she could reach to thwap Jerrie on the head. He stuck his tongue out at her, and she replied the same, until they were interrupted. 

The interruption was by a very fat, very rich cat. The one, the only, Bustopher Jones. Rumpleteazer leaned her arm on Alonzo's head as she studied the cat in question. 

He was dressed in a black, velvet tuxedo jacket, a white dress shirt, and a bowtie. The lapel of his jacket had a red rose pinned to it, and under his right arm he carried a spoon. All in all, he looked exactly how he always did. Wealthy. 

Now, Teazer and Jerrie came from a very rich household, but at least they didn't flaunt it. Well, she did wear her pearls, but those didn't count, they were earned through hard work and using Jerrie as a distraction. Bustopher was practically begging to be stolen from. 

Rumpleteazer shifted, preparing to jump off Alonzo's shoulder, but he brought his paws up to hold her in place. 

"I know what you're thinking, and don't even try it."   
"But-"  
"No."

Rumpleteazer huffed, leaning on the top of Alonzo's head as she watched Bomba, Jenny, and Jellylorum move to the front of the group. 

"Bustopher Jones is not skin and bones,"

Teazer smiled as her mom began to sing. She knew Jenny had always had a little celebrity crush on Bustopher, much to her dad's amusement. 

"In fact, he's remarkably fat."

Bombalurina sang, a noticeably forced smile on her face. Bomba was a hoe alright, but Teazer was pretty sure that she wasn't actually into Bustopher, and just wanted his money. 

"He doesn't haunt pubs," Sang Jellylorum. She was in the same boat as Jenny, having a little crush on the Tugger of their generation. 

"He has eight or nine clubs!" 

The three joined together to sing "for he's the St. James's street cat!" 

St. James's was located in a very rich area, as expected. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer didn't live too far away from it. 

Jennyanydots picked up the song, her voice giggly like a fangirl. "He's the cat we all meet as he walks down the street, in his coat of fastidious black."

"No commonplace mousers have such well-cut trousers," yeah. Definitely in it for the money. Which Teazer could respect.

"Or such an impeccable back," 

"In the whole of St. James,  
The smartest of names  
Is the name of this Brummell of cats!" Jenny chirped, gesturing towards Bustopher. 

The chonker saluted Munkustrap, who responded with a returned salute, looking pleased with himself. Bustopher was a highly respected cat. Although Munkustrap was the ringleader of the Jellicles, Teazer knew that he was often worried about some of the more distant cats in the city trying to overthrow him or something. And she wasn't going to judge Munk if a really fat cat endorsing him was what it took to calm his nerves. 

"And we're all of us proud  
To be nodded or bowed to by  
Bustopher Jones in white spats!" 

The ensemble of cats joined to repeat the chorus and Teazer felt herself whisked off of Alonzo's shoulder. She stiffened, but unsurprisingly, it was just Alonzo. The black-and-white tom grabbed her paw, spun her, and swept her into a waltz. 

The dance was sophisticated and elegant. Teazer felt her cheeks warm slightly as she was pressed against Alonzo, and she gave him a mischievous grin. He returned it. They were doing the same steps as three other pairs in the clearing. Etcetera with Tumblebrutus, Plato with Victoria, and Demeter with Munkustrap. 

But just as soon as the dance began, it was over, barely lasting more than a few seconds. 

The Jellicles gathered around Bustopher as a large tophat was brought out for him to sit on. The fat cat sat on the hat, (I'm sorry I couldn't resist) before he started singing. 

"My visits are occasional to the Senior Educational,  
And it is against the rules  
For any one cat to belong to both that and the Joint Superior Schools.." 

He kept singing, but Teazer, Alonzo, and Jerrie were definitely not listening. They were busy whispering to each other. 

When they had ran to crowd around Bustopher, Alonzo had landed right next to her in the group. He leaned over, and whispered "I like your pearls." Into her ear. 

Teazer giggled. "Thanks," She whispered back, but before she could say anything else, Mungojerrie shoved his way between them. He playfully shot Alonzo a glare. "Dance partner theif." He accused with a snicker. 

Alonzo responded with a light punch to Mungojerrie's shoulder, which made Jerrie swat at Alonzo's ear, which made Rumpleteazer smack them both in the face, which made everyone start giggling, which made Munkustrap come over and slap them all on the heads. 

"Alonzo, don't encourage them." He walked away. 

Bustopher was done singing by now, so the ensemble picked back up, and so did the waltz. Alonzo went to take Teazer's paw, but Jerrie swatted his away with a snicker, reaching over for Teazer himself. Alonzo smacked Jerrie's paw away. And the cycle continued, like three more times. 

"Dance partner theif."  
"Regular theif-" 

Teazer was laughing her ass off, and so were the boys. Until Munkustrap showed up behind them again. "What are you idiots doing?" 

They simultaneously turned around to face their leader, looking like they'd been caught with their paws in the cookie jar. "Nothing." They all said at once. 

"I'm going to have to separate you three like you're in kindergarten if you don't stop-" Munkustrap sighed, smacking his forehead. "Behave, goddammit. We have a GUEST." He walked away to continue singing ensemble. 

Mungojerrie and Alonzo both reached for Teazer, but before either of them could claim her she was snatched by her dad. Rumpleteazer giggled as she danced with Skimble. 

"Bustopher jones in white-  
bUSTOPHER JONES IN WHITE-  
Bustopher Jones in white spats!" 

Mungojerrie suddenly ran forwards, grabbed Teazer from behind, and just.. fuckin ran across the clearing. 

"Daughter theif!" Skimbleshanks laughed.

Mungojerrie stuck his tongue out at Skimble. He set Teazer down and spun her, then took both of her paws, before swinging her onto the ground and through his legs. Only for her to be snatched up by Alonzo once she was behind him. 

Eventually the idiots stoped screwing around to help finish the number. Well, one idiot. Alonzo finally rejoined the group, standing in line with the rest. 

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, however, had had a genius idea, and slunk off behind a pile of trash. 

"It must and it shall be spring in Pall Mall,  
While Bustopher Jones wears white-  
bUSTOPHER JONES WEARS WHITE-  
Bustopher Jones wears white.. spats." 

The pause was for drama, presumably. 

"Toodle Pip!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're gonna have another half-chapter next, but after that it's the big number for our chaos duo! I will be including the verse cut from 1998, and it'll be a good long one! Hope you're enjoying ♡♡


	9. Chapter 5.5- The First Macavity Scare | From Munkustrap's Perspective

Bustopher finished his number by pulling the rose from his lapel and presenting it to Jennyanydots. Munkustrap let himself chuckle as his mother figure nearly fainted, having to fan herself with the rose. 

Skimbleshanks walked over, smiling and laughing. He was always good-natured about his wife's little crush on Bustopher, and Munkustrap could tell that Jenny wasn't really serious about Bustopher. Skimble ruffled the fur on top of Jenny's head with another laugh and she playfully swatted at him. 

Munkustrap smiled, looking at the couple fondly. The two had practically raised him, considering his one known parent was only here once a year, and he loved him as if they were his own parents. Tugger had been much more independent in his kittenhood and very early adult years than Munk. 

Munkustrap's internal monologue was interrupted by a loud, sharp, crashing sound. The lights illuminating the junkyard flickered violently, and he heard a familiar cry from Demeter. "Macavity!" 

Bustopher Jones got out of there fast. He ran off to the right, and then we never saw him again. 

Munkustrap stayed calm. He swung his head around slowly, looking for the danger. He kept himself in the center until everybody else was out. Still, it was probably best if they all cleared off for a while... 

Munkustrap ran off to the left. His main priority now was to calm Demeter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is such a short one! These half-chapters are mostly for transition scenes, or if I want to showcase the same scene from another perspective. Next one is the big number, guys! You excited?


	10. Chapter 6- Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the big one! Sorry this took a little longer than usual, but I just really wanted to make sure this was a good long one. If you like it (or don't) it would mean the world to me if you left a comment. They really, really inspire me to write more. Love you!

A loud giggle rang through the clearing, followed by a "shh!" 

Rumpleteazer shot a playful glare at her best friend as the two climbed onto the car boot, bags in hand. And wait.. was that music? 

The melody was fun, slightly mischievous. Perfect for them. 

A rush of excitement ran through Teazer. She hadn't realized that their little trick would put them alone in the magical clearing, giving the chaos duo their own number in this year's ball. She knew nobody was watching, well at least, she hoped, (She was wrong,) but it was the experience that counted. Just her and Mungojerrie under the Jellicle Moon, causing chaos just like they had been since day one. 

Rumpleteazer thought back to that very day one. The day they'd met. The day her life would change forever.

She'd been a kitten, not even six months old, and already on a mischeif kick. She'd been taken in by the stationmaster of the Sleeping Car Express, thanks to her father.

But on that night, Rumpleteazer hadn't been at home. Or the junkyard. Or the train station. She was out and about, being perfectly innocent, just taking a walk. Into somebody else's house. To look around for interesting things. And then maybe take them. 

And that's when she had encountered him. Another striped, tabby kitten, also there to see what he could find for himself. Long story short, they accidentally tripped the alarm while fighting over who got there first, were forced to help each other escape, and the rest is history. 

As they slid down the trunk and onto the ground, Rumpleteazer couldn't help but giggle again. This prompted another "Shh!" From Jerrie, which she rolled her eyes at. The two split off into different ways, Rumpleteazer on the right. She began to back up.

Suddenly, Teazer felt her back hit something. Her bag flew out of her hand before she could realize she was throwing it, and she spun around, ready to defend herself. 

It was just Mungojerrie. Damn, now she felt stupid. Then she saw that Jerrie had chucked his bag in surprise too, and she felt a little less stupid. 

And then, their very own number began.

Jerrie stood to her right as they faced their imaginary audience. Mungojerrie cleared his throat, and began to sing. 

"Mungojerrie,"  
"And Rumpleteazer." Teazer joined, leaning over slightly as she felt the dance come to her. 

"We're a notorious couple a' cats!" They chimed together, harmonizing in a bouncy, mischievous way. They moved in a mirror image of one another. On 'couple a' cats,' they turned back-to-back and stuck their paws out, before shaking one of their back feet. Teazer felt herself smile wider. This was fun already. 

Rumpleteazer started to go solo, her cockney accent ringing through as she sang. 

"As knockabout clowns, quick-change comedians, tightrope walkers and acrobats!" 

Rumpleteazer pulled off a flawless cartwheel, her smile only growing when Mungojerrie took over the singing. They both moved to their right, dancing in perfect synch. 

"We have an extensive reputation," 

Rumpleteazer moved her paws in front of her face, just how her dad did sometimes. When she realized what she'd done, Teazer smiled again.

"We make our home in Victoria Grove." Mungojerrie took her paw and led her further to their right, guiding her underneath his arm and to his left. 

"This is merely our center of operation,"  
Rumpleteazer mimed typing on a typewriter, and Jerrie pretended to push the thingie back into place. Rumpleteazer shot him a smile, and he returned it. Then, their voices joined once again in that wonderful, tiniest bit sharp sound. 

"For we are incurably given to rove!" 

Rumpleteazer smiled mischievously as the music sped up. Coordination was always one of their strong points, and right now it felt as if her and her best friend were moving as one. They ran to the left, then back to the right, before she hopped on Jerrie's shoulders. 

"If the area window is found ajar," Jerrie sang, bending over so she slid off of his shoulders and onto her feet in front of him. He stood back up. "And the basement looks like a field of war," 

Teazer jumped back in, still performing for their imaginary audience. "If a tile or two comes loose on the roof," she moved her arms up over her head, then ran them back down her sides, singing "Which presently cedes to be waterproof," 

They both faced to the left, bending over slightly as Mungojerrie took over again. "If the drawers are pulled out-" The two pretended to open a drawer- "from the bedroom chest, and you can't find one of your winter vests," 

Paws were suddenly on Teazer's waist, and he was leaning around to stick his head out from behind her. "Or after supper one of the girls," 

Mungojerrie stood fully up. He hooked a finger around the strand of pearls on her neck, a wicked grin on his face, and finished his sentance. "Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls." He winked at Teazer, before dropping his hand from her necklace and offering his arm. 

"Then the family'll say, it's that 'orrible cat!" They sang together as Teazer looped her arm through his. They marched to their right, still imitating their owners, before dropping their linked arms. 

"Was it Mungojerrie?" Feigned confusion flashed over his face for a second, and he pointed both thumbs at himself when he said his name. 

"Or Rumpleteazer?" She matched his fake confusion, before breaking back into her excited face as she swung her hips. 

Moving together again, they walked back towards the center, spreading their arms out as they sang. "And most of the time, they leave it at that!" 

They did. In fact, most of the time, the family couldn't even tell which cat was Mungojerrie, and which cat was Rumpleteazer, unless they saw both cats side-by-side to compare. Rich people hardly have time to play detective on which of their very similar-looking cats knocked the glass off the table. 

A small dance break hit, and she spun herself into Jerrie's arms, giggling when he leaned down to dip her quickly. They danced together for a few seconds. Fast-paced and informal with each other was how they'd always been, and Teazer didn't see why they should change their style for THEIR number. 

She dropped to the ground and backed up through his legs while he moved forwards, so when she stood, they had switched positions. Two voices became one harmony again as the words came to them. 

"Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer have an unusual gift of the gab!" They sang, both strolling forwards, and returning to the middle of their imaginary stage. 

Teazer found herself on the floor yet again, lying on her side while Mungojerrie took his turn to sing. "We are highly efficient cat-burglars as well!" He hopped over her, then whisked her back to her feet.

"And remarkably smart at a smash-and-grab!" Teazer bragged as she sang, kicking the air and then grabbing something imaginary. This was an experience like no other, but damn, was it making her think.. about a lot of things. 

Songs about specific cats were commonly sung by those closest to them. And that meant Mungojerrie was the closest cat to her. Not that that was any surprise, they'd been best friends for years now, they practically shared a singular braincell, and even lived in the same household. But did that mean that they were... more?

Teazer shook the thought from her mind. She wasn't interested in her best friend. She wasn't even interested in ANYBODY at the moment. Well, save for Tugger, but that was more of an appreciation for his good looks than actually wanting to date him. Something pulled at the back of her brain, though. Like she'd forgotten something, or someone, on the subject. 

Teazer was shaken out of her racing thoughts by Mungojerrie. He stood behind her, miming a sort of house around her as he sang. 

"We make our home in Victoria Grove, we have no regular occupation," 

Rumpleteazer walked around him, hopping into his arm so he could dip her while he sang. She placed herself next to him again. 

"We are plausible fellows, who like to engage-" it was highly unlikely that Mungojerrie OR Rumpleteazer knew what plausible meant, but right now the universe was guiding them, so it didn't matter. Rumpleteazer joined her voice with Jerrie's for the last part of the sentence.

"A friendly policeman in conversation!" 

Rumpleteazer felt her heart speed up in tempo with the music. She bent forward, and there was a pressure on her shoulders, as Mungojerrie vaulted over her. 

The two took to opposite sides of the clearing, walking around to meet each other in the middle of the back, as Jerrie sang "When the family's assembled for sunday dinner," 

"Their minds are made up that they won't get thinner!" Teazer cut in. 

"On Argentine joint,"

"Potatos and greens," 

The two had dropped to their knees. They leaned back slightly and held their legs out, sticking their arm in the spage between them. "Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes!" 

Mungojerrie took his turn singing again. "And say in a voice, that is broken with sorrow-" they held their hands to their foreheads in a 'damsel in distress' manner. "I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow. The joint has gone from the oven like that!" 

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had crawled forward slightly, but now they sat up, chiming "And the family'll say, it's that 'orrible cat!" Together. 

Jerrie jumped to his feet, again acting overdramatically confused and surprised. "Was it Mungojerrie?" 

"Or Rumpleteazer?" She'd hopped up too, barely holding back a smirk as she shook her hips. 

She took his paw as they walked backwards. "And most of the time, they leave it at that!" They walked to their left, spreading their arms in the same motion they had earlier. 

The beat picked up again, the sound of brass instruments and drums coming from everywhere and nowhere as they became more excited by the second. 

"Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer 'ave a wonderful way, of workin' together!" They sang together, dancing back across the clearing to the right. Rumpleteazer couldn't agree more with that. Ever since they'd met, the two had been practically attached at the hip. It seemed as if they knew what the other was thinking, and that was because they thought the same way. Sure, they were both dumbasses, but they were the same kind of dumbass, so it made them incredibly coordinated in their dumbassery. 

"And some of the time you would say it was luck!" Jerrie tapped her shoulder and offered his arm, which Teazer looped hers through. 

"And some of the time you would say it was weather!" He spun, making her run around him due to their connected arms. She nearly slipped and fell. It all turned out alright though, and Teazer remained upright. 

they walked to the right, and Mungojerrie grabbed her by the waist, and flipped her over in a cartwheel as they sang. "We go through the house like a hurricane!" Teazer stumbled a little, her head spinning for a few seconds. 

"And no sober person," sang Jerrie. Rumpleteazer regained her brain to sing "would take 'is oath!" With him, holding her paw up as if she was swearing on something. 

"Was it Mungojerrie?" He pointed at himself. 

"Or Rumpleteazer?!" She practically yelled, unable to contain the mischievous grin on her face. 

The two faced each other, sweeping their arms underneath their torsos as they bowed playfully, singing "Or, could you have sworn, that it mighta' been both?" Normally, it was both. 

They moved backwards, looking at each other a little. This was an experience like they'd never had before, and the fact that they got to do it together made it even more perfect. 

"And when you hear the dining room smash! Or up from the pantry, there comes a loud crash!" 

They quieted, pretending to be sneaky. "Or, down from the library, came a loud ping," 

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer ran forward, bending over together with Jerrie behind Teazer. "From a vase which was commonly said to be... minnggggg...." 

Teazer looked behind her and up at him, gasping in pretend surprise. They broke apart, ran in separate directions, then met back up in the middle and joined their paws. He smiled at her, and she smiled back. 

"Then the family'll say, 'now, which was which cat?" 

She quickly moved to his behind her friend as he spread his arms out, announcing to their imaginary audience "It was...!" 

He paused for drama, then pointed both thumbs at himself "Mungojerrie."

Teazer scoffed and shoved him out of the way, insisting "AND! Rumpleteazer!" 

She readied herself, then hopped into a cartwheel ON him, and they started to spin in a double cartwheel. This was a big deal, considering the last time they tried this, she'd nearly broken her neck and Jerrie had actually sprained his ankle. 

Teazer hopped out of the risky maneuver, giving her best friend a look that said 'we did it.' They joined arms again as they skipped to the middle. 

She hopped onto his side, sticking her leg up and using his thigh to help her stay on. He held onto her, not letting her fall, as he'd always done. He'd always been there for her, always helped support her. Physically and metaphorically. 

"And there's nothin' at all to be done about that!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter I mention my headcannon for how Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer met. I'm contemplating on writing a oneshot from baby Teazer and/or Jerrie's perspective on it let me know if you want it!


	11. Chapter 6.5- From Alonzo's Perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two in one day! Well, technically it's after midnight now, but still! I'm having so much fun writing this, and I hope you're having fun reading it, too.

Munkustrap was busy calming Demeter. She'd been panicked. So that meant that, as second in command, the job of surveying the clearing fell to Alonzo. He didn't mind, he'd always had a soft spot for Demeter, and it was much more important to calm her. Anybody could watch the clearing. Only Munkustrap could calm Demeter. 

Alonzo was sitting up inside of a grated-off pipe on the right of the clearing. He couldn't jump down, but he could see the whole area, and was hidden pretty well. 

He heard them before he saw them. A giggle rang out from behind the tire, then a "shh!" It took Alonzo about zero-point-two seconds to recognize the sound of that laugh. Rumpleteazer. 

He should've known. Those two were always up to something. Always. His eyes narrowed and he sighed. Were they even having fun with him earlier? Or were they just distracting him? He could never tell if what they were doing was real or not. But he did know that something was real: the flip-flop his stomach did every time Rumpleteazer laughed or even so much as looked his way. 

But that wasn't important right now. Alonzo was just about to go down and chew them out for attempted theft and scaring Demeter when the music started. Oh shit. They got a song this year. 

Alonzo watched intently from where he was sitting as they began to sing. He tried to ignore the urge to clench his teeth when he realized that this was an introduction sort of song. Which were sung by those with the strongest relationship to the introduced cat. Which meant that they were singing about each other. 

The fact of them being so close that they shared a number made him feel... something. Something a little negative. No, something a lot negative. Alonzo didn't like that he didn't like this, he should be happy for them, right? There were hardly any other cats that were bonded as close as those two. Still... 

A much, much larger negative feeling shot through his veins when he saw Mungojerrie hook his finger under Teazer's pearl necklace and pull her closer. Alonzo resisted the urge to growl.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer weren't officially together, but everyone knew it was bound to happen. So why didn't he want it to? It didn't make sense. But then it did. 

Reality smacked Alonzo in the face as he realized something. He was in love with probably the worst cat he could have fallen for. Rumpleteazer. Oh fuck, this was not good, this was not good. Abort mission.

There were several reasons why he shouldn't be in love with her, and soon, his logical brain took over to try and convince him to not be.

First, Alonzo had shit to do. He couldn't be distracted by a relationship, especially not one with a queen as unpredictable as Teazer. Which brought him to his second point. 

Teazer was a wild card. A jack of all trades. A theif and a troublemaker. In other words, a little shit who would probably get him kicked off his job as second in command. Alonzo was supposed to be upstanding and serious, he was supposed to disapprove of cats who behaved like that. 

Also, said little shit was basically as good as taken already. Mungojerrie had been her companion for most of her life, and them sharing a song just confirmed even more that he had no shot with her.

And just for the record, Alonzo actually found her rather annoying sometimes. 

Okay, that last one was a lie. He thought Jerrie was annoying sometimes. Teazer could do the same thing and he probably wouldn't find it bothersome. Ugh, this whole situation was not ideal. 

Speaking of annoyance, another bolt of it shot through him as he watched Mungojerrie dip her, and she smiled. He fiddled with his paws as he kept watching the scene below. Why did it have to be her, of all cats? There were so many more reasonable options. Cassandra, Bombalurina, Tantomile, Plato, Extotica, Victoria, Coricopat... they were all fine. Much more sensible, much less likely to cause trouble or break his heart. His brain said there were better cats available than her. But his heart said that he wanted the pearl-adorned troublemaker. 

Alonzo sighed, shaking his head. No. No, this wasn't going to work. He had other things to do. But that didn't stop the jealousy from stirring in his conscious as they sang "And there's nothin' at all, to be done about that!" 

Munkustrap appeared behind him. "Goddammit, those two were behind this? And they got a whole song?" He exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's safe, everybody!" 

Group by group, the cats emerged. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer moved to run the other way, but were stopped by a different group. Munkustrap and Alonzo held up the bags full of assorted objects, as if to say 'the hell is this, assholes?' 

The two dropped and slid through his and Munkustrap's legs, jumping onto the top of the car boot. Alonzo and Munkustrap threw the bags, and he saw Teazer reach for it with a pout. She didn't catch it. 

Munkustrap seemed about to scold them for scaring Demeter and causing a fuss, but before he could even open his mouth, another song started playing. 

Misto looked into the air, as if sensing something. "Old Deuteronomy?"


	12. Chapter 7- Old Deuteronomy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to the_writing_rowan for all their wonderful comments! Thank you ♡♡

Tantomile and Coricopat lifted their heads up. "I believe it is Old Deuteronomy..." 

Rumpleteazer was excited to see Old Deuteronomy, but the adrenaline from her and Mungojerrie's song was still coursing through her veins. Not only that, but it was perfect timing on his part. For Teazer and Jerrie, that is. Seriously, interrupting right when they were about to get chewed out by Munkustrap, getting them almost completely off of the hook. 

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer sat down on the car boot, and she sprawled across his lap, panting from the effort of their number. She shot him a grin, and he returned it, looking down at her. He leaned down to whisper "We're so off the hook." To her. 

Teazer nodded, giggling quietly. She didn't register the glares Alonzo was shooting at Jerrie occasionally, and neither did Jerrie, considering as he had the observational skills of a brick wall. 

Despite her exhaustion, Teazer joined in to sing with the rest of the cats. 

"Well, of all things, can it be really?   
Yes, no, ho hi, oh my eye!  
My mind may be wandering, but I confess,  
I believe it is old Deuteronomy!" 

The kittens gathered around Munkustrap, as well as most of the adults. He spoke to mostly the small ones, though. The ones who hadn't met Old Deuteronomy before, had only met him a couple times, or were too young to remember meeting him last year. 

"Old Deuteronomy's lived a long time," he explained, smiling down at the kittens. They looked up at him with wonder. "He's a cat that has lived many lives in succession." 

Right now, it was Etcetera, Plato, Victoria, Electra, Jemima, Syllabub Pouncival, Tumblebrutus, Bill Baily, and Carbucketty gathered around Munkustrap. But Rumpleteazer remembered when it was her and Mungojerrie, Alonzo, Tugger, Bombalurina, Demeter, Cassandra, Munkustrap, Tantomile, and Coricopat gathered around Gus. 

"He was famous in proverb,   
and famous in rhyme,   
A long while before Queen Victoria's accession." 

When Munkustrap mentioned Victoria's namesake, he gave her a gentle nuzzle. 

Then came Old D.'s more... independent.. son. Tugger. Munkustrap had always looked up to his (rather absent) father, but Tugger on the other hand... he wasn't a huge fan. 

He didn't dislike Old Deuteronomy, nobody did, but he was definitely a little more upset about the whole 'only showing up once a year and not parenting your children' thing. 

"Old Deuteronomy's buried nine wives. And more! I am tempted to say ninety-nine." Teazer held back a snort. 

"And his numerous progeny prospers and thrives,  
And the village is proud of him... in his decline." 

Munkustrap, sensing that his younger brother would only start roasting their dad in less subtle ways as time went on, took the song back.

"At the sight of that placid and bland physiognomy,  
When he sits in the sun on the vicarage wall.."

And then, he appeared. Old Deuteronomy. Pretty fat and also pretty old, but he was still loved by all. It was impossible to tell exactly how old, but Teazer was pretty sure the number was somewhere around hella old.

Led in by Misto, Old D. was met with copious amounts of hugs and nuzzles, which he accepted happily. 

Teazer and Jerrie stayed in their spot though, still panting from the effort of their number. They joined in singing, though. 

"Well, of all things, can it be really?   
Yes, no, ho hi, oh my eye!  
My mind may be wandering, but I confess,  
I believe it is old Deuteronomy!" 

Rumpleteazer sprawled across her partner in crime's lap, yawning. She would regain the spring in her step within minutes, but she needed to rest for those few minutes. The two often slept in a pile together, flopped against each other and usually crushing the other's paw or tail. 

Sleep was obviously not an option right now, but the gentle melody calmed Teazer, letting her close her eyes for a few minutes as Old Deuteronomy was led to his throne on the tire. 

One Jellicle would be chosen this year to go to the Heaviside layer. She pondered who it would be. Definitely none of the younger cats, they were all happy as they were and hadn't lived out their full lives yet. Teazer hoped that it wouldn't be Jennyanydots or Skimbleshanks. She wasn't ready to let go of either of her parents. 

The one who she thought deserved to go was Gus. For one, he was super old. And he'd served them all well as storyteller and leader before Munkustrap. 

Mungojerrie leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Can't believe we got a whole number," He grinned. "And alone, too. Wouldn't wanna share it with anyone but you, Teaz." 

She smiled, playfully swatting at his ear. "Oh hush, you sentimental ass. Right back at you, though." Rumpleteazer nuzzled his cheek. 

They both turned their heads as Old Deuteronomy sang for the first time that night. 

"My legs may be tottery, I must go slow  
And be careful of Old Deuteronomy!"


	13. Chapter 8- The Awe-full Battle of The Pekes and The Pollicles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I've got a few things to say!
> 
> • First and foremost, my little shit 12 year old smartass friend who I love dearly found out about this and tracked it down. And shared it with everyone. So if you see any asshole comments, it's probably him. Cos, if you're reading this, why?
> 
> • Also Rocco why tf did you read all the chapters if you didn't like the fic-?? Just because Cos sends a link doesn't mean you should click it, dumbass.
> 
> • Sorry this chapter's a little later than normal, I love Pekes and Pollicles so I wanted it to be good. Not a lot of plot in this chapter, but it's fun so I hope you like it anyway. 
> 
> • before you say anything, yes I am aware that Carbucketty and Pouncival/Bill Baily and Tumblebrutus/Syllabub and Jemima/Admentus and Plato are canonically just two different names for the same character. However in this book I'm making a few of their alternate names separate cats, so we can have a little bit of a larger cast for this fic. 
> 
> • Have fun! Hope you enjoy. Don't forget to comment if you have anything to say, even if it's just hi!

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had crowed around Old Deuteronomy by now. She felt somebody looking at her, so she looked backwards over her shoulder. Alonzo. Teazer snickered and stuck her tongue out at him, smiling afterwards. He just fiddled with his paws and looked away. 

Munkustrap pushed his way to the center of the crowd, his face glowing with happiness. Teazer smiled too, knowing how happy he was to see his dad. 

"Jellicle Cats meet once a year. On the night we make the Jellicle choice. And now that the Jellicle Leader is here, Jellicle Cats can all rejoice!" 

Personally, Teazer thought that Munkustrap deserved that title. Old D. Showed up once a year, sent somebody to the Heaviside Layer, then fucked off until the next Jellicle ball. Harsh, she knew, but Teazer wasn't one to have moderate opinions on things. 

She still liked Old Deuteronomy perfectly well, but his absence wasn't her favorite. 

Teazer was knocked out of her thoughts by the sound of horns. She broke into a grin. It was time. 

Every year, Munkustrap tried his absolute hardest to direct his favorite play: The Awe-full Battle of The Pekes and The Pollicles. And every year, it went badly. In fact, it might've gotten worse every year. The casting was nearly always the same. Munk as the narrator, Carbucketty as Rumpus Cat, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer as a Peke and a Pollicle, and Tugger as Specifically Instructed To Sit On The Side And Not Interfere Or Play The Bagpipes. 

Everyone scattered to their respective sides, Pekes and Pollicles, as Munkustrap stood tall and firm, beginning to narrate. 

"Of the Awe-full battle of the Pekes and the Pollicles, together with some account of the participation of the pugs and the poms!" He sang, shooting looks at anyone who wasn't in their place. Teazer got into her place pretty quick and pulled her costume on. 

"And the intervention of... our great Rumpus Cat!" Munkustrap took a breath, ready to begin the faster part of the narrative. He raised his paws to help him articulate his words. 

"The Pekes and The Pollicles, as everyone knows, are proud and implacable, passionate foes. It is always the same, wherever one goes." 

Munk had turned to Old Deuteronomy, waving his arm as he said "as everyone knows," and Old D. Motioned back with an 'obviously' sort of gesture. 

"Now The Pugs and The Poms, although most people say, that they do not like fighting-" Munkustrap made a little punch motion, sharpening his tongue for a second. "But once in a way, they now and again join into the fray and they-"

He motioned for them to start barking, and slowly the cats remembered that they were actually supposed to do things. 

"Bark!"  
"Bark!"  
"Bark!"  
"Bark!"  
"Bark!"  
"Bark!"  
"Bark!"  
"Bark!" 

Rumpleteazer snickered as she saw Mungojerrie on the other side of clearing. He seemed very confused, as he had that stupid look on his face when he didn't understand something. Also he was "bark"-ing when The Pekes were supposed to bark, and staying silent when his own side was supposed to. And to top it all off, he wasn't singing "bark," but actually imitating a dog barking.

"Until you could hear them all over the park!" Munkustrap sang, looking relieved. This was going better than it ever had. Well, for these five seconds, it would. 

"Now, on the occasion of which I should speak, almost nothing had happened for nearly a week. And that's a long time for a Pol or a Peke." 

Munkustrap moved to his left, swinging his tail around. Teazer could tell that Munk was getting super into it. She snickered, watching him be a huge nerd as he kept singing. 

"The big police dog was away from his beat. I don't know the reason, but most people think he slipped into the Wellington Arms for a drink." 

Oh boy. Showtime. This is where it would get fun.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer scurried to their places just out of the clearing. Jerrie on Munk's left, Teazer on his right. 

"And no one at all.. was about on the street. When a Peke-" out jumped Rumpleteazer, posing dramatically. "And a Pollicle-" Mungojerrie now, looking even more confused than usual. And that was a pretty high bar. 

"Happened to meet." 

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer moved towards Munkustrap. Jerrie straightened the shoe on his head, which was almost falling off. 

The two both looked to Munkustrap, forgetting what they were supposed to do. 

"They did not advance- or exactly retreat. But they glared at each other, and scraped their hind feet!" 

Mungojerrie made an 'ohhh' face when Munk started singing again, doing as the story directed. Rumpleteazer snickered underneath the fake Peke head of her costume. 

"And they started to-" 

"Bark!"  
"Bark!"  
"Bark!"  
"Bark! Bark?"  
"Bark!"  
"Bark?"  
"Bark.."

Mungojerrie's eyes were narrowed in confusion. Rumpleteazer shook her head, sighing. He barked twice. Twice. And he knew it was supposed to be back and forth. His genius was almost frightening sometimes. 

"Until you could hear them all over the park! And they-" 

Rumpleteazer moved her hand this time, gesturing to herself, then Jerrie, back to herself, Jerrie, repeat, so he wouldn't get confused and steal another of her 'bark's. 

"Bark!"  
"Bark!"  
"Bark!"  
"Bark!"  
"Bark!"  
"Bark!"  
"Bark!"  
"Bark!" 

Mungojerrie nodded as he 'bark'ed for the last time. He seemed to sort of get it. Good enough.

"Until you could hear them all over the park!" Munkustrap continued, gently hitting the side of Jerrie's head as the tabby walked off their imaginary stage. 

"Now the Peke, although people may say what they please," Munkustrap kept attempting to tell the story, but Rumpleteazer had her own plans. She stood next to him, pressing her back against his side, and started shimmying. A muffled giggle came from inside her costume. 

"Is no British dog, but a foreign Chinese!" Munkustrap elbowed her in the back, and she jumped away, still laughing, and ran over to her mom. Jennyanydots was holding back her own giggles. 

"And so all the Pekes, when they heard the uproar, some came to the window, some came to the door. There were surely a dozen! More likely a score!"

"Wait wait- go bother him some more-" 

"Will do, mama!" Rumpleteazer ran back to Munk, dropped to the ground behind him, and crawled between his legs. She sat up a little and shook her paws (which were currently covered in small fabric balls for the costume) like a cheerleader.

"And all of them started to grumble and wheeze, in their huffery snuffery, foreign Chinese." Munkustrap didn't break his steady voice for a second. Damn him. He elegantly lifted his left leg and brought it down so she wasn't under him anymore, which sent her rolling towards stage left. 

Munkustrap moved in the opposite direction, probably to distance himself more from her. She just accepted the fact that she was on the ground now, and looked up at him. 

"But a terrible din is what Pollicles like, for your Pollicle dog is a dour Yorkshire type." 

All the toms had lined up, and began haphazardly marching in a circle, singing

"There are dogs out of every nation: the Irish, the Welsh, and the Dane  
The Russian, the Dutch, the Dalmatian  
And even from China and Spain!"

By now, Tumblebrutus had gotten entirely turned around, or maybe was purposely screwing with Munk. Either way, he was walking in the exact opposite direction of everyone else. Rumpleteazer laughed, sitting up again.

"The Poodle, the Pom, the Alsatian,  
And the Mastiff who walks on a chain!"

Munkustrap ran back to the center, and he had to put his paw out to stop Pouncival from continuing to walk forwards. It didn't work. Pouncival kept walking for a bit, Munkustrap with his paw on the front of Pounce's shoebox hat to stop him. 

Munkustrap was so goddamn elegant that he didn't even falter in his singing. "And to those who are frisky and frolical, let my meaning be perfectly plain,"

Eventually Pouncival gave up with his endeavor, and decided to take a simpler approach. He shook the cereal boxes off of his hands and just started swinging at Munkustrap. Thankfully, (or unfortunately, depends on who you ask) his arms were too short to actually reach Munk. 

The toms, minus Pouncival, who was currently occupied, sang "That my name is little Tom Pollicle, and you'd better not do it again!"

Munkustrap walked away, and Pouncival fell on his face, landing on the ground at the exact time a beat struck.

The ringleader of the Jellicles moved left again, towards Teazer. She was still accepting her fate on the ground, but begrudgingly got up to go look for Mungojerrie. She found him sitting close to where she'd been. Still confused. Rumpleteazer took the Peke head off and freed her paws. "Much better."

"And their braw Scottish cousins are snappers and biters!" Munkustrap started singing again as he moved back toward the center. Skimbleshanks and Misto appeared on his left, doing a little vaguely-Scottish jig. 

"And every dog-jack of them notable fighters! And so they stepped out with their pipers in order, playing 'When The Blue Bonnets Come Over The Border!'" 

There was so much excitement that Rumpleteazer had almost forgotten about the best part of this play. Almost. Every year, because of past incidents, Munkustrap would tell Tugger that he was NOT allowed to be in the play or come into the clearing while it was going on. And every year, that asshole came bounding down from the car boot with his goddamn bagpipes. An unstoppable force. 

Munkustrap's face deadpanned, and he pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering something under his breath that sounded a lot like "fuuuuuuuu-"

The Rum Tum Tugger appeared in all his glory, playing a few bars on his makeshift instrument as he skipped across the clearing. But he soon ventured back off into the night, still reveling in his contribution to the chaos.

Munkustrap just moved on, working with what he had. Jemima, Etcetera, Electra, and Dea had begun to march out with their Pomeranian costumes. And they were actually coordinated, unlike literally everyone else. Well, until Dea almost fell on her face. Tumblebrutus caught her just in time, though. 

"Then the Pugs and the Poms held no longer aloof! But some from the balcony, some from the roof, Joined into the din with a-!" Munkustrap was practically shouting dramatically. Good ensemble or not, there was a reason why he was the storyteller. 

"Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!"

"Until you could hear them all over the park!" Munkustrap sang, running to stand near the base of the tire. 

All the cats began to make two lines, one on either side of Munk, marching forwards as they chanted "Huffery snuffery, huffery snuffery, huffery snuffery, huffery snuff!" 

Munkustrap ran down the center of the line, sliding to a graceful stop as he flung his arms out to the sides. "Until you could hear them all over the park!" 

And then, everything devolved into complete and total anarchy. What order there had been left was entirely vaporized as the cats all began to bark and howl at each other, as well as do other weird shit. Dea and Tumblebrutus were just straight up having a fistfight. Like a play one but still. Tantomile and Coricopat each had one of Cassandra's arms, and they were yanking her back and forth, until Misto ran and threw himself onto Tantomile. Which knocked her to the ground, which pulled Cassandra down, which pulled Coricopat down. Rumpleteazer saw her mom and dad thwacking each other in the face with their paws, holding back laughter. 

Rumpleteazer suddenly felt herself being lifted off the ground. She squeaked, saw that it was just Mungojerrie, and immediately relaxed. Teazer sat on his shoulders as he dashed around the clearing. She threw her head back in laughter, unafraid of falling, and felt the wind in her fur. 

And then, back to reality. 

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" 

The cats went silent, looking at a very grumpy Munkustrap. Rumpleteazer slid off her best friend's shoulders. 

Munkustrap had managed to regain some amount of order, and he continued like nothing had happened. 

"And when these bold heros together assembled, the traffic all stopped, and the underground trembled. And some of the neighbors were so much afraid, that they started to ring up the fire brigade!"

The leader had apparently slipped right back into his rhythm, the story rolling right off of his tongue. It really was remarkable how he could regain his composure so quickly. 

"When suddenly up, from a small basement flat... why who should stalk out but..."

All the Jellicles joined in, dramatically singing "The Great Rumpus Caaaaaaat!" 

Carbucketty leapt out, in full Rumps Cat regalia, and promptly crashed right behind the tire. Mungojerrie elbowed Rumpleteazer and they both snickered as Munkustrap sighed, going to retrieve Bucket. 

The ensemble pressed themselves against the walls of trash that composed the junkyard, cowering in pretend-fear of their clumsy friend dressed in a superhero costume. Rumpleteazer clung to Alonzo, who was sitting right next to her. She hid her face in his chest, and he squeezed her tightly, hiding his face in her shoulder. They were both pretty good actors. 

Mungojerrie felt left out, so he did what any reasonable cat would do. Somehow shove his way in between them and cling to both. Teazer thought it was pretty funny. Eventually Munkustrap sang the line that signaled them out of the clearing. 

"He jumped to the sky and he gave a great leap! And then every last one of them scattered like sheep." 

All the cats, save Munkustrap and Carbucketty, ran from the clearing to kick off their dog costumes. There were several sighs of relief. They heard Munk again.

"And when the police dog retuened to his beat, there wasn't a single one left on the street!" 

Rumpleteazer watched the dance break from the sidelines, snickering quietly. "Well done, Bucket." She whispered to herself. Just before the cats were supposed to reappear for the final line of the song, their lord and savior reappeared. The bagpipes were played once more, and there was much rejoicing.

The Jellicles rushed out to gather around Carbucketty and Munkustrap, voices blending together in a sound reminiscent of a church choir. Except they were singing about a fictional superhero cat who's being played by one of the biggest dumbasses in the junkyard. It was perfect. 

"All hail and all bow to The Great... Ruuuuumpuuuus Caaaaaaaat!"


	14. Chapter 8.5- The Second Macavity Scare | From Munkustrap's Perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! First off I want to say sorry for making you guys wait a week for probably less than a thousand words here. I've been busy with the holidays and all. You've probably figured out right now that I have no upload schedule, I just smack this shit out then post it when I finish lmaoo
> 
> Second, happy holidays! I did actually put out a holiday oneshot yesterday, so if you like my writing consider checking it out ♡

Munkustrap sighed. The play had not gone very well. But he supposed it never did. So much for impressing his dad this year. Still, Munkustrap wished that at some point he could do something that would make his father proud. He had so little time with Old Deuteronomy, so few opportunities to talk to his real dad. 

Skimbleshanks and Jennyanydots had, in every sense, raised him. Tugger was much more independent than him, and didn't often need or want the parental support that Munkustrap did. He hated to admit it, absolutely hated to, but he knew that he needed approval. A lot. 

Munkustrap sighed again. He walked over to his brother, ready to chew him out for playing his godforsaken bagpipes every fucking year, but he was interrupted. 

A loud crash. A flicker of the light. A scream of "Macavity!" From Demeter. Munkustrap surveyed the area, keeping himself calm and collected. Old Deuteronomy stood from his seat on the tire. 

Together, Munkustrap and his father scanned the clearing for any danger. Any sign at all that things weren't right. The worst thing that could happen right now would be Macavity. He was bad news all the time, but on the night of the Jellicle Ball, he seemed to get extra vicious and powerful. 

Munk hoped for Demeter's sake that he wouldn't show this year. But he couldn't shake the last time he'd seen Macavity from his mind. The only time Munkustrap had heard him ever speak, the five words that came from his horrible tongue. "I'll be back for you." Addressed towards Demeter.

It hadn't been a threat. It'd been a promise. A twisted, vile promise, but a promise all the same. On that day, Munkustrap swore to himself that he'd never let Macavity hurt anyone of their tribe again. And he swore that he'd never let anybody hurt Demeter again. 

Demeter. The one he loved. She was a fighter, that was for sure. Too much had happened to her already, and she was still a young adult. Her mother's neglect, and then the abuse from Macavity... She pretended to be alright most of the time, but Munkustrap knew she couldn't help but be anxious, guarded, and even downright scared sometimes. 

So he made sure Demeter felt safe. Was careful to never raise his voice, never to startle her, never to do anything that could scare her on purpose. She needed time to heal, and Munkustrap wanted to give her the best environment possible for that. 

Munkustrap stopped thinking as he finished his visual sweep of the clearing. Nothing, nobody. False alarm. Old Deuteronomy nodded. False alarm. 

Nothing but a false alarm.


	15. Chapter 9- The Song of The Jellicles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'd like to apologize for this being so late. I had midterm exams at school that I only finished yesterday. Hope you understand! Uploads should be more consistent in the future. 
> 
> Also, consider checking out my latest oneshot? :3 only if you feel like it!
> 
> Cosmo if you're reading this I swear to fuck dont you dare send this fic to the groupchat again

Rumpleteazer peeked out from behind a trash pile when she didn't hear any Trademark Macavity Noises. Just Munkustrap, Old Deuteronomy, Jemima, and Victoria in the clearing. 

Mungojerrie's protective arms were wrapped tightly around her. She hated to admit it, but they made her feel a little better. Suddenly, she felt him whisper into her ear. "Are we good? False alarm?" Rumpleteazer just nodded in response. 

Old Deuteronomy stood in the middle of the clearing, spreading his arms out as if to offer the night itself a hug. And he summoned the Jellicles back onto their concrete-and-newspaper dancefloor. His voice was deep and dignified. 

"Jellicle cats come out tonight,  
Jellicle cats, come one, come all." He sang, raising his arms even more in beckoning. 

Then, the youngest and oldest of the kittens emerged. Victoria on the left, and Jemima on the right. Pure white and orange like fire, diamonds or spikes around their throats. Ooh, diamonds. Shiny. Pretty. Actually No. No, no, we don't steal from our own tribe, Teazer, especially from the sweetest of all cats. 

Rumpleteazer grew vaguely annoyed at her conscience as she watched the two dance and sing. 

"The Jellicle Moon is shining bright,  
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball."

The invitation back into the clearing was then accepted by the first cat. Rumpleteazer smiled as she saw Alonzo join the song. He could be a hardass sometimes, yes, but Teazer kept in mind that he was also rather showy and flirtatious. Which was the side coming out now. She laughed softly to herself as the tomcat entered the area, walking elegantly, but with a sort of attractive way of moving, a way that could almost rival Tugger's. Almost. Not quite. Nobody could rival Tugger, but Alonzo was pretty close. 

"Jellicle Cats are black and white," he started. Rumpleteazer hadn't really heard his voice yet tonight, as they had been drowned out by the clamoring of the ensemble, but now she did. She liked it rather well.

Alonzo approached Victoria, moving in that same flirty walk. Rumpleteazer felt a slight twitch of... something. She couldn't tell. Nah, probably just hungry. 

"Jellicle Cats are merry," 

Pouncival had joined Alonzo, just in time to finish his sentence for him. "And bright!" Alonzo let the kittens take over now, allowing the little ones their brief spotlight. Victoria and Jemima hopped, each tapping one of Pounce's paws with their own. If it was Rumpleteazer in their position, she would have just given him a highfive. Screw elegance, she fell on her face daily, plus the coolness factor of a highfive was waaayyy higher than some sort of finger tappy thing. What were we talking about?

"And pleasant to hear when we, caterwaul," 

One by one, more cats appeared. First, her father, seeming as springy as ever. It took some serious shit to make Skimble sad. Everlasting, that was a tongue twister. Anyway, with dad the way he was, it was no surprise that his line was "Jellicle Cats have cheerful faces!" 

"Jellicle cats have bright black eyes!" Tumblebrutus appeared not three seconds later. 

By now, most everyone was back in the clearing. Rumpleteazer detatched herself from Mungojerrie's arms, as much as she liked it there, and skipped back out to join the fray. Jerrie wasn't far behind, of course. 

Mistoffelees ran across where would be the front of their imaginary stage, doing one of his signature leaps. "We like to practice our airs and graces," he sang. Well, that was a fuckin' lie- Rumpleteazer didn't know what that meant, but she didn't like to practice anything.

The whole chorus joined together. "And wait for the Jellicle Moon to rise!" 

Munkustrap, Admentus, and Plato made a line, marching forward to the beat of the music as they sang "Jellicle Cats develop slowly,"

"Jellicle Cats are not too big!" Tumblebrutus did a pretty sick backflip. She always enjoyed any of his little parts. 

Asparagus, however, decided to be weird and say "Jellicle Cats are roly-poly," whatever the fuck that meant. Rumpleteazer was also pretty sure she'd eaten a roly-poly at some point. It didn't taste good. 

In response to Asparagus, Skimbleshanks and Mistoffelees did a perfectly coordinated little dance, singing "we know how to dance a gavotte and a jig."

Rumpleteazer noticed Demeter in the corner, eyes slightly wide. The yellow queen had always been anxious, but she seemed a little more than that now, probably just because of the Macavity scare. She looked up at the sky and sang

"Until the Jellicle Moon appears!"

Bombalurina joined her friend. "We make our toilette and take our repose." 

Jennyanydots appeared. "Jellicles wash behind their ears." She said, giving a look at the messier kittens, plus her daughter. Rumpleteazer stuck her tongue out back at her mom, and Jenny laughed a little. 

Meanwhile, Jellylorum was chasing after Pouncival. "Jellicles dry between their toes." She said, seeming displeased with the little rascal. 

Tantomile and Coricopat joined hands, walking forward with their otherworldly grace as they sang "Jellicle Cats are white and black," 

Mungojerrie nudged her, and flicked his head towards them. Rumpleteazer nodded, and the two ran underneath the joined arms of the twins. Mungojerrie grinned at her when they were on the other side, having successfully captured the spotlight for a few seconds. 

"Jellicle Cats are of moderate size!" They chirped together. 

Annndddd.... spotlight gone. A few toms did split-jumps in the air several times in a row, and impressively good ones too. "Jellicles jump like a jumping jack!" 

"Jellicle Cats have moonlit eyes." 

The cats joined together again, and Rumpleteazer with them, singing high and soft. 

"We're quiet enough in the morning hours,  
We're quiet enough in the afternoon," 

Mungojerrie grabbed her paw as they sang, spinning her into his arms as the ensemble gathered in the center. Rumpleteazer smiled. It was nice to have somebody you could always count on. 

Munkustrap and Mistoffelees ran forward from the back, gesturing dramatically. (that part was mostly Misto.)

"Reserving our terpsichorean powers,"  
"To dance by the light of the Jellicle Moon!" 

The chorus broke its tight formation, dispersing. They left Alonzo in the middle. 

"Jellicle Cats are black."

Rumpleteazer, Etcetera, and Victoria stepped forward, yelling "And white!" With mock offense. 

Two groups of toms took the center now. They kept trying to interrupt each other for the limelight, it seemed. Rumpleteazer snickered. 

"Jellicle Cats, as we said, are small."   
"If it happens to be a stormy night-"  
"We will practice a caper or two in the hall!"   
"If it happens the sun is shining bright-"

Apparently Tugger had decided he hadn't gotten enough attention in a while, so now it was his turn to interrupt. He pushed both groups out of the center, smirking as he sang "You would say we had nothing to do at all." Yeah, he was kind of annoying sometimes, but damn if he wasn't a good singer. 

Everyone else decided that he got enough attention as it was, so once again the whole chorus joined together. 

"We are resting and saving ourselves to be right for the Jellicle Moon and The Jellicle Ball!" 

Cats were forming into a block, each cat an equal distance apart from every other cat surrounding them. Rumpleteazer was right in the middle of Mungojerrie. 

"Jellicle Cats come out tonight!  
Jellicle Cats, come one, come all!" 

The group began to slow their tempo, moving together as if they were a hive mind.

"The Jellicle Moon is shining bright,  
Jellicles Come to the Jellicle Ball..."


End file.
